Wednesday night [...] it’s back to women [from the Real Housewives of Vancouver] whose only real power is their credit cards, paid for the most part by men (current or past), and, well, the thing that got them those men to begin with. It’s an uncomfortable step backward for women that smart Vancouverites may hate – but can’t help talking about. (Marsha Lederman, Globe and Mail)

In the above-mentioned Globe and Mail piece one Vancouverite is quoted as saying that “we are a city of new rich and want-to-be rich douches and trashy suburban scum. The Olympics have us believing we are a great city, but the riot showed what we really are at our core.” Ouch.

Now that some Vancouverites, British Columbians and Canadians have watched the Real Housewives of Vancouver show for one season, it’s time to overlook the well edited altercations and review some of the best takeaways from the show.

* FABULOUS SCENERY

Save for weather reports and glimpses of the region in made-for-the-US movies, we rarely see panoramic shots of the Lower Mainland and surrounding areas. On RHOV you can see aerial shots and viewpoints of popular areas that would be hard to see, unless you have access to a helicopter or float plane. When is the last time you hovered over Third Beach in Stanley Park? There is no need to compare the topics of scenery and arts funding or similar concerns.  We can appreciate it for what it is and be reminded that we need to do what we can to preserve and protect it.

Takeaway?  Splurge and go on a Helijet ride.  It’s the only way that you’ll see the Lower Mainland up close and personal from the sky.  If a Helijet ride isn’t on the table don’t forget to visit local scenic viewing spots in different seasons.

* MOMPRENEURS

You won’t have to go far to find someone grumbling that the women on RHOV are not real housewives of Vancouver. There have been attempts to re-write the definition in local rags; however, there truly are so many types of women and mums in the Lower Mainland. This programme is all about putting affluent women with different personality styles in one social setting and watching how they get along (or don’t!).  You do not live in north False Creek (“Yaletown”), even as a renter, West Vancouver and any quadrant of Shaughnessy if you do not have a comfortable income.

On RHOV the busiest mompreneur started a catering business over twenty years ago, has a fine food store, started a clothing store, which will be replicated soon in Toronto and Montreal, is publishing a cookbook and supported the launch of her daughter’s business. Another cast member has co-created a perfume and related fragrance products, co-developed a scarf business and a tequila drink and is re-launching her formerly successful singing career. Another member is working on a book featuring gluten-free recipes, health and exercise tips and has released one recorded song that was well received.  A fourth member has been working out details around launching a new line of wine. Rumour has it the fifth cast member used her exposure on the show to make a pitch for a travel show. She will not be returning for season two.  Those are the projects that have been announced, to-date, and have already proved to be inspiring to others in the area who are looking to start or grow their own business.

Takeaway?  British Columbians love a success story and happily support local entrepreneurs. If you’re on LinkedIn or Twitter you’ll know there are all kinds of women-run businesses on the go.  What special angle could you develop?  Would you take advantage of an opportunity to be on a reality television show in order to promote your evolving business plan?

OLDER WOMEN

In North America journalists and media personalities are obsessed about promoting a youth-obsessed image of society. Women over 30 are increasingly invisible as the years go by.   The RHOV producers featured the words of one RHOV cast member who said she is at an age (early 40s) when she feels confident about what she says and does, and can look good doing it.  Two of the cast members were also shown in kick boxing and martial arts classes, keeping fit and healthy. The RHOV women are showing how you can live with verve and confidence well beyond 30.  The subject of aging and visibility is about more than whether or not you use plastic surgery and/or facial and hair enhancements.

Takeaway? Surround yourself with age-positive people who embrace the virtues related to life-experience.  Women on the other side of 35 are accomplished and attractive in ways that are different than when they were younger. Enjoy being your fabulous self without making any excuses or hiding behind Botox and Juvederm.  Avoid reading publications that are obsessed with ageist comments such as “look at these amazing wrinkle-free 40+ female actors.”

SHOPPING

Most Vancouverites don’t have the budget to shop at the most expensive stores in Vancouver but they might be interested to see what’s on tap in Vancouver’s more fashion-forward stores.  Did you ever wonder what type of shoppers had deep pockets in the white glass white shopping castle or the store with the elaborate facade?  You know the one you would never enter because you know they could tell you don’t have the budget for their clothes. Well now you know. It seems some people do spend thousands of dollars on one piece of clothing. Fortunately there are plenty of other stores where people with normal budgets can shop.

Takeway?  While your in-laws or friends might be able to afford tens of thousands of dollars on bags and bangles, you too can look good.  There is an endless selection of fashion blogs and Tumblr accounts to give you inspiration.  Here in Vancouver you can get affordable fashion forward casual and evening wear at Zara, Wear Else, Plum,  Superstore (Joe Fresh downtown is best), Zellers (Alfred Sung), H&M and more expensive pieces at high end consignment stores like Happy 3 on 4th and also near Arbutus & 41st.   The designer fashion corner at the annual York House fair is also a good place to scoop.  The sale of used clothing/accessories at Crofton House every two years isn’t too bad either. You never know what you can find when you dig around at The Bay.  If it’s a sale weekend you could potentially score.  For high end pieces The Room at the Bay offers deep discounts from time-to-time. For unique, one of a kind pieces that aren’t über expensive you can head to local fashion stores on Main Street. If you join the Facebook page and follow Twitter accounts of local designers (both small and large scale operators) you can hear about special sales, pop-up stores and warehouse sales. For accessories head to Stella and Dot (online) and Etsy.com.

DINING OUT

Many Vancouverites are cash strapped and only go out to eat from time to time.  Restaurants have felt the pinch during the recent economic downturn. Cafes, bars and restaurants have already been featured prominently on RHOV. Watching the show is one way to take a peak at some of the places you have heard about but might not have visited yet.  Hopefully in future episodes the RHOV producers will show more details about the places that the housewives are visiting.

Take Away – You don’t have to be an A-Lister in Vancouver to eat out at the chicest locations.  The Dine Out Vancouver, event, for example is an easy way to visit a popular restaurant without draining your wallet. If your budget is tight, brunch and lunch are a better option.   Every year the restaurant scene changes.  If you don’t have a chance to get out much on your own, make sure you try a new place every time.  Some of the best restaurants aren’t located downtown and might be restaurants where the dominant language spoken by patrons isn’t English.  There are many food bloggers in town sharing excellent reviews on UrbanSpoon.  As an example on MySecretEden you can check out the favourite restaurants page.

OLDER MOMS

It’s a trending topic in the media from time to time, but what does the face of older mom-dom look like?  Keep in mind that many women start their families before they are 30 and have their last child when they are in their mid 30s or older.  Pregnancies at age 35 and beyond are considered to be higher risk and fall into the category of “older mum”. This is not as rare an event as members of the media would have people believe.  On RHOV one of the cast members had her child when she was in her mid 40s and two other cast members were well into their 30s when their last child was born. There has been no discussion about this topic on the show and there probably won’t be. Unlike Real Housewives of Orange County, for example, children are not a main focus of the show. (Although there are side comments about eating cupcakes or clips of a child shopping with her mum.)

Takeaway?  Even if older mum’s aren’t discussed very much in the media, think about fabulous women like Meryl Streep (see adorable photo)- or one of the RHOV cast members if you will – and note how they have rocked the older mum and woman working or volunteering outside of the home category.

CHARITY WORK

At least three of the cast members have mentioned charities that they support and say that the promotion of their chosen charities has been a main factor influencing their participation. The connection to charities has not been featured prominently on the show and it will be interesting to see if this happens in season 2.

Takeaway – If you have an opportunity to be featured in a reality TV show or in the media, it’s a great opportunity to promote the name and work of your favourite charity or create your own.  You can also use your online presence, via social media, to create enthusiasm about the fabulous work that a vast number of charities are doing in British Columbia.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Some of the cast mates got into hot water over what they sent by text and sharing texts with others.  If you want to see why you should be careful about what you text, surely RHOV is one of the best examples to watch.  It is hard enough to explain your perspective in long form during a coffee or meal.  Short bursts of words strung together is a doomed medium. Similarly it is probably a good idea to not share scandalous behind-the-scene information on Twitter.  If you aren’t a member of the RHOV cast, it is also not a good idea to tweet that you would like to smack one of the cast members countless times, in the event that you meet up.  Surprisingly this happened more than once on Twitter.  Yikes!  Think, tweeps, THINK before you tweet (and think about taking a break from watching reality TV programmes).

Takeaway? Leave heavy text usage to teens who feel they must communicate that way.  If you have a “situation” going on with a friend, pick up the phone and ask to meet with him/her in person.  Keep text messages to topics such as when you will meet up.  Any other approach is simply too indirect and ultimately too exhausting.

GET GORGEOUS

Watching the housewives make trips to salons featuring diamond dust and a swank Okanagan spa might have left you feeling a tinge envious.  You certainly can look fine when you step out with a blow-out, nails done, skin prepped and the latest cut and colour.  It has been calculated that the Duchess of Cambridge (“Kate Middleton”) spends almost $40,000 per year beautifying herself.  In Vancouver you can find salons that appeal to every style and budget from the “feels like London” Idaburn (see Ian) to the talented staff at affordable Salon Gloss located off Lougheed Highway.  Once you’re looking fabulous you just might want to capture the moment with an Erich Saide Photography photo shoot or an affordable styling & photo glam night at Salon Gloss.

Takeaway: You don’t have to use Botox and Juvederm  to look fabulous.   Slather on sunscreen starting from today and keep your skin in good condition.  (Scoop – You can find an easy and cheap deterrent for between-brow-furrows on the BCFamily.ca Facebook page.) You can also keep up-to-date on some of the fun products out there by companies such as Nars and Benefit that give a finished look without looking “made up”.  Affordable make-up is also available at Joe Fresh & drugstore lines have also improved in quality over the years.  For an at-home spa you can use BC’s Eminence spa quality products and Vancouver Island’s Dragonfly Dreaming skincare products. The cost of spa treatments has been inching up over the past few years and you can expect to pay over $100 for a facial.  Fortunately you can buy Spa Utopia gift cards at a modest discount at Costco in the Christmas season.  You can also visit smaller spas that feature high quality service at competitive rates.  Harmony The Spa at Vancouver Dental Spa is a great example.  You can visit a top dentist for maintenance or corrective dental work and then pamper yourself for your efforts.  Do be careful to note the training background and affiliations that your spa professional of choice has.  Even  a simple manicure can have a negative outcome if it is not done properly.

BOTH SIDES

As soon as RHOV began to air, many Vancouverites started to complain:

It’s disgusting.

I would never watch that show.

It portrays women in Vancouver in the worst light.

Women here are simply not like that.

Those aren’t real housewives.

Truly wealthy socialites wouldn’t go on the show.

I don’t want to be associated with the RHOV brand.

Faithful viewers and locals who know the women in real life will tell you that they’re not disgusting, they are integrated members of society and they live full and meaningful lives outside the edited vignettes seen on the show.  No doubt the producers of the show are also reassessing how the first season went and the approach they want to take for Season Two.  In real life we don’t go out for four hour lunches.  We also don’t show up at carefully orchestrated events chosen to bring five diverse women together who probably wouldn’t join up as a social group under normal circumstances.  Perhaps less scripted encounters and a more Dogme 95 – as it happens – approach is in order.  It’s time to turn the somewhat stale and predictable reality TV editing format up on its head.

People love lifestyle shows that are escapist and illustrate others living the good life.  Piers Morgan On is a case in point.  You either love it or you don’t want to spend a second of your life flicking past it on the television. RHOV is not about your average woman, wife and/or mother. It’s not about the women in different parts of the Lower Mainland.  It’s about a thin slice of the social demographic pie.  In the telling of their stories, aspects of life in Vancouver can be revealed too. Here’s hoping that Season 2 will allow the unique lifestyle in Vancouver and its fabulous women (and the women they know) to sparkle.

We’d love to hear from you so don’t be shy! You can comment about this posting using the comment function below or visit us at our Facebook page.  A special note about comments on this page.  As the shift of this posting is positive in tone, a comment that has a negative perspective regarding one or more of the cast members (stated directly or indirectly) will need to be shared on another site.  Thank you for your understanding.

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I’m almost not crazy.  Agh. Just kidding.  I’m quite fine thank you very much.  I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t call me “crazy”. In fact, dear Hollywood directors and script writers, when it comes to scripts for television and movies I’d appreciate it if you would refrain from labeling anyone coping with a health condition as being “crazy”.

This is how I felt recently while watching an edition of Fox Broadcasting Network’s House.  I’ve been rewriting this page since then in an effort to make the content interesting enough for people to want to read it, but there’s a problem.  Who cares about what people in Hollywood say about people with a condition that you don’t have? Some might say “don’t get yourself tied up in knots.  It’s just entertainment.”  

Here’s the thing. (To put matters casually.)  We all have our “thing”. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunty or uncle, chances are the children in your life have some kind of “thing” going on.  They might have allergies – a life threatening allergy – or a condition such as ADD, ADHD, an autism spectrum condition, Downs syndrome, cerebral palsy or any number of other challenges. How would you feel if someone in a television or movie drama, who has the condition your child has, was described in an unattractive manner because of this condition.  Would you feel upset?  Would you feel angry? Would you feel that your child has been marginalized by this portrayal?  Would you worry that this type of negative portrayal might have a negative impact on the way other people see a child like your own?  How would you feel if the script of a television show used the word “crazy” to describe someone with a condition you or your child has? How would you feel if the word “mongoloid” was used to describe a condition your child has?

In the past two weeks I have encountered two separate potrayals on television that made my eyes pop. In one new and admittedly dark show a woman with Down Syndrome is described  by her edgy mother as being a “mongoloid“.  “Eh”?”, you say. My thoughts exactly.  In an episode of House a person with a hyperthyroid condition is described as being “crazy” and exhibiting irrational and impulsive behaviour such as extreme altruism.  

On my hairiest of days I might refer to my day as being crazy. I might even make a joke about myself.  It is my choice to say “I’m crazy” or “I’m almost not crazy”; however, I’ll thank the men in Hollywood for not calling me “crazy” because of any health condition I might have.

If you watch night time TV you’ll know that medical dramas are a casual information source.  Shows such as House on the Fox Broadcasting network  are known for their detailed presentation of information about medical conditions.  House is television entertainment but its existence relies on stories detailing actual medical conditions.   These TV dramas have large followings and the impact that the content has on viewers is significant.  For obvious reasons the producers of these shows hire people who provide advice regarding the medical information used in the scripts. One would expect that the information they present is accurate.  A viewer can sit back in his or her chair and not question the validity of the content that is presented.

Wisdom is grounded in humility and a sense of wonder.  Hopefully the directors, script writers and medical advisors working on the House show have the wisdom to realize that they made a “grave” error (excuse the pun) when they described a person with a hyper thyroid as being/acting crazy because of his condition.   If that realization doesn’t happen, let them speak to an endochrinologist who will be happy to discuss the mental health profile of patients with hyper thyroid conditions.

Here are some ways that directors of TV shows can ensure that medical conditions and the people who have them are represented fairly.

Keep it Professional

In a recent episode of House the character 13 described a patient with a form of hyperthyroidism as “crazy”.  As House’s team discussed what could be the problem, 13 proposed that it could be Graves disease or some kind of thyroid condition based on what they had observed.  It turned out to be a specific type of hyperthyroid disease – a single toxic nodule – sometimes referred to as Plummer’s Disease.  “Your patient is crazy.”  Does this sound like a professional perspective?

Do Your Research 

A reference to crazy behaviour is not a theme in the medical literature about hyperthyroidism.   Symptoms such as arrhythmia, muscle tremors, anxiety and fatigue are documented.  Patients can also experience dramatic weight loss, difficulty walking due to the impact of the overactive thyroid on the heart and exhaustion. Extreme altruism, irrational behaviour and related manifestations, as indicated in the House episode, are not documented in the literature.  It isn’t likely that the blood work of the patient on House would not present clues about his condition considering his collapse earlier in the show.   Additionally, it is not likely that there would be no evidence of anxiety once he was in an advanced stage of hyperthyroidism.  Moreover, doctors use radioactive iodine uptake tests (thyroid scans) as a more sensitive tool to diagnose a thyroid condition.  A patient could have normal blood work results, while a radioactive scan will show clearly that the patient has a hyperthyroid.  Doctors also administer other diagnostic tests before removing part of a thyroid.

Think About Impact

The last comment a person with any condition wants to hear is that people with his or her condition are “crazy”.   Similarly, why recycle dated and insulting words such as “mongoloid” in an effort to taint the viewer’s opinion of the person who uses it?  This type of script writing makes real people with that condition feel uncomfortable and marginalized – an outsider compared to other people who are, supposedly, not crazy or different in some way. 

Protect the Human Element in the Story

When the presentation of a condition on TV does not match reality, people who have this condition will feel frustrated, misrepresented and upset.  They will be concerned that people who know them will believe this faulty presentation of their condition and see them in a new light. As an example, people with undiagnosed hyperthyroid disease do not present as being ”crazy”, whatever the use of that word is meant to suggest.  They can have meaningful, successful and high functioning experiences in a professional and personal sense.  They complete advanced degrees and hold down challenging jobs such as President, teacher, researcher, entertainer or author.  Rapper Missy Elliott was recently diagnosed with Graves disease. 

Don’t Complicate Matters

When a TV script includes lazy judgments about people who have a condition, how does this content influence the viewers who might form misinformed conclusions.  People still struggle to maintain their dignity while coping with health challenges.  Misinformation complicates matters.  Employees hesitate to discuss their challenges as they can experience subtle and sometimes overt descrimination in the office.  Employers sometimes take information about a person’s health challenges into consideration when assessing a person’s performance, potential in the workplace or their use of sick leave and absences due to medical appointments.   This type of back-room and unprofessional assessment is hard to prove.

See the Person Not the Condition

Not only should a child not be named by the condition that he or she has, but he or she should also not be described using words such as “crazy” based on the condition they have.  (For example, a child HAS autism.  A child is NOT autistic.) It is easy to make assumptions about how the child will function in a group or educational setting based on what we might know about his or her condition.  A person should have the opportunity to live his or her life to its full potential without experiencing other people’s limited and judgmental perspectives.  The parents of a child who has a health condition will experience their own challenges as they try to support their child and arrange for the proper support.  They too will appreciate the understanding of others.

Be Humble. Be Open Minded

Information generators such as journalists, authors, blog posters, people who leave comments on websites, script writers and TV directors need to:

* acquaint themselves with the lived reality of all people in our societies

*be sensitive to the challenges others face that could make their lives much more complicated than our own

* through their efforts, encourage others to support people with specific conditions, be sensitive to their needs, champion their cause, advocate for support from public and private offices

* avoid jumping to conclusions about who they are, how they feel, how they function or what their capabilities are

* take time to stop, take time, listen, observe, ask informed questions and learn before writing TV and movie scripts

* endeavour to be humble and have an open mind  – admitting that they know less than they think they know about a topic. 

* think before writing dialogue that labels other people with judgmental descriptors such as “crazy”.

After all, we are all different in some ways, but we are all human beings with the same needs and desires and are more alike than we are different.

President George Bush Sr. and his wife Former First Lady Babara Bush (and their dog!) were diagnosed with Graves Disease.  While you might not appreciate their political views, no one to date has ever called them crazy, even when they were not feeling in tip top condition.

When we think about how we consider and describe the health challenges of others, we don’t need to think about being politically correct. Instead let us remember that we are all worthy of respect.  This is how we should measure our thoughts, words and deeds in relation to others. That’s not such a crazy idea, when you think about it.

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A first step - complaints to @HouseonFox  on Twitter

Summary of Episode 3, Season 8

Here are two examples, published on the SavvyAuntie.com site, showing how we can support people and families faced with specific conditions:

Expect the Unexpected (Supporting a child with Down Syndrome and his/her parents)

How to be an Auntie to Children With Special Needs

I’m Almost Not Crazy T-shirt by Sara Moonves . (Check out the Stylemint.com t-shirt website as well. The personalized shopping experience is a fun approach to shopping online.)

We’d love to hear from you so don’t be shy! You can comment about this posting using the comment function below or visit us at our Facebook page.

Every weekday Steven Sabados and Chris Hyndman find fun and easy ways to bring a little bit of fabulous to life. They share advice on fashion, delicious food ideas, tips on home décor and much more on Steven and Chris. (Content Film)

Whether you work within the home or in an office, if you enjoy food, fashion, fun and frivolity, you’ll want to make time for Steven (Sabatos) and Chris (Hyndman).  This dynamic, designer duo consistently wow their dedicated fans with their talented skills and perspectives and their cheerful and humble personalities. Their afternoon show on CBC is also available on their detailed website.  If setting a digital recorder isn’t your thing, you can easily watch past shows online.  While the show is based in Toronto, it doesn’t suffer from that Toronto-centric feel you find with other shows.  Steven and Chris direct their show to all Canadians – especially the women in their viewer base.  For viewers here in Vancouver the approach works.  We feel included.

You will find a wide range of features on their website including information about decorations, food, health tips and relationships, contests and submissions from fans.  We like their video and photo “Ask Steven and Chris” submission page.  Here’s a recent posting regarding creating a family friend living room.

Since Steven and Chris (Chris and Steven?) always have their finger on the pulse, it is no surprise that they recently put together a show about bloggers. Female bloggers.  Hot, happening, cutting edge, Canadian female bloggers to be precise.  Check out their webpage on the show to find a list of some of the most interesting blogs being published in Canada.

What do you think about this topic?  Please leave a comment using the comment function below or by visiting our Facebook page.  We would love to hear from you!

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An introduction to social media on Steven and Chris

DIY Online on Steven and Chris

Designer’s Guy-de to the distillery district

If you live outside of Canada, you may need a little help from Hotspot Shield to watch their show online.