How’s the Dating Scene Working For You?

Pamela Chan,

We’re well beyond the Mary Tyler Moore years and life for the single person is looking better than ever. You just have to look at Facebook and online posts to read about the benefits of the single life.  But you might actually want to expand your one person (or one adult plus children) home to include a partner.

It might not be a trending topic online but a good number of people are looking for love.

Recently a friend in Toronto put a post on her Facebook profile page about how she knows a group of female friends who are keen to enter the dating scene.  She would be interested to introduce potential partners to them. If any of her friends knew of interested parties, they were invited to contact her.

Isn’t this the dream of every single person?  I know it’s one that I always fostered.  Good quality friends helping to effect introductions.  This is the gold standard when it comes to “how to meet someone” strategies.  Friends you trust vetting introductions.

Bring it on!

I was single after 30 and discovered first hand how hard it can be to meet truly unattached and ready to date prospects. My friend’s call to interested parties peeked my interest. Between the two of us, my friend and I have over 800 contacts who are connected to our two profile pages. Keeping in mind that Facebook will feed out posts to a small percentage of those 800+ people, I figured that at least a few people might be interested to take part in this project.

I say “project” because after checking with my friend, I  rewrote and shared her invitation on my own timeline. A good number of my contacts on Facebook either live in Toronto or have strong ties there. Even if less than 5% responded, that might result in a few potential meetings. To increase the odds that contacts on my page would see my post, I asked if friends could “like” my post when they see it. More “likes” would increase the odds that more people would see an increasingly popular update.

And what was the result?  Nobody came forward to say that they would be interested or that they might know someone who is interested. On my side, one friend “liked” my post to give it a boost.

Between people not actually seeing the two posts, or not having any information to contribute, there are many reasons why the request for contacts did not gain any traction. Ultimately the focus should not be on people not making any contact, but rather on the issue itself. In a way this disappointing outcome is symptomatic of a bigger issue.

Gosh darn it – it’s hard to meet people nowadays. Even in this age of online dating and Tinder.

But try to find an article (by a journalist) or blog post about THAT.

It’s hard to address this topic because our personal experiences about trying to meet people and then dating are personal and unique to us. My experience dating a US Naval officer in Japan does not translate to women on the dating scene here. The experiences of a 40+ year old women are different than someone in her early 20s. It’s easy to read someone’s story and discount it by saying “but that’s not going to happen to me or other people”.

My friend’s focus is on women 35+ and beyond entering or well into their second adulthood. Some have children. Some will have either been married or will have lived with someone in a long term relationship.

One finding I read a few years back pointed out that by the time you’re in your mid 30s, 75% of people that age have either been married at least once or have been in a long term, common law relationship.
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As you get older the dating landscape changes and you don’t have as many single friends around with whom you can compare experiences. If you’re been doing your level best and have faced frustrations, it’s good to share your story, hear what other people have been experiencing and pick up some ideas from other people’s successful endeavours.

The Challenges and What Works

In order to find some clarity on this issue there are two topics that need to be discussed.

1. What are the experiences and challenges that you face when you’re  looking to meet someone who is single and ready to date?

2. For people who have found success, what worked for you? Even if you met someone by chance, how did you find yourself in that position? And how did you capitalize on that chance circumstance and foster a successful relationship?

Have a look at the invitation that didn’t work (see screen capture below) and then consider this post your invitation to share your challenges and stories of success.  To get your ideas flowing, see the video below which has five useful tips to meet a healthy living focussed partner.

Sounds like a plan?  Now it’s your turn. What have your experiences been like, how are you finding success or have you heard success stories from other people?

You can comment about this posting in the comment section below or on the Facebook page. Your contribution matters so don’t be shy!


The labour of love – 36 questions.

Finding love – the power of a new story.

Adulthood made easy – navigating the weird world of dating.

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Have you considered all of the tips in the following video?

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