Lean 30: 20 – Where Are the True HeliParents?

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Pamela Chan, BCFamily.ca/Editorial


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It’s always fun to see the Holderness family’s videos. Lots of dancing and cheeky spins on topics make for fun viewing.

Although I have to admit that for me helicopter parenting is nothing new, despite all of the “it was so different then” stories people share. Recently I was surprised to see a mum who is under age 25 sharing a photo quote about how she was parented well and taught social graces.  The quote ends with a question. “Did someone forget to tell this generation?” Which generation?  Aren’t the critical “young people nowadays” stories about people as old as 20 something? Are people in their early 20s already talking about the good old days? The greener grass out yonder is always lush and perfect it seems.

My parents were definitely not Free Rangers.  I once had a teacher accuse me of being – to use today’s terminology – the overindulged child of helicopter parents.  The assessment was off the mark because parenting can never be so easily stuffed into a tight box.

I mostly see so-called helicopter parenting as a psychological process. If you see a parent who answers a question addressed to a fully grown son or daughter, watch the dynamics in this relationship.  Do you see the parent talking with another adult in order to address the outcome of children’s interactions that don’t even remotely constitute bullying or inappropriate socialization?  Are you wondering why there should be a conversation about interactions that children have traditionally negotiated and worked out until now?

Pay attention because now you might really be on the track to finding true “heliparents”. Just don’t be confused if those same parents complain about “helicopter parents nowadays”. The finger pointing game runs fast and furious and no parent with offspring under the age of 30 is spared.

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