Should you avoid being boring?

Pamela Chan, M.Ed/Editorial

“I’m trying to be cool and this guy gets all persnickety at me suddenly. Yah thats a word.  Google that s**t.  I’m off snarky.  Now we’re on persnickety”.  Dane Cook

You’re single.

You’re dating.

You’re married.

You’re divorced.

You have children.

You don’t have children.

Are you over the age of 30? Whatever your personal socio-economic demographics is, you might have started noticing articles describing the characteristics of a boring adult of a certain age.

Boring:

Synonyms: colorless, dreary, dull, humdrum,  mind-numbing, pedestrian, ponderous, slow,  stodgy, stuffy, tame, tedious, tiresome, uninteresting

Antonyms: absorbing, engaging, engrossing, gripping, interesting, intriguing, involving, riveting

Do you argue that one person’s “boring” is another person’s “fun”? As the big 3-0 comes and goes, and the 12 months of a year blip by  over and over, maybe you believe that there are much worse labels that could describe a person.  But if the “You’ve Become a Boring Adult of a Certain Age” label sounds cringe to you, here are 10 pitfalls you’ll want to avoid.

1. Favouring your conversational topics and interests of choice exclusively

To avoid: You don’t have time to socialize in person – or communicate online – with people who don’t share your passions.

You and your friends have favourite topics of conversation, and different interests simply do not appeal.   You will not show any interest in any topic discussed in person or online that does not align with your interests.  Others should not expect you to hit the like button on anything you don’t like.  Even if “liking” a comment online can also mean celebrating what your friend enjoys, or what makes them happy.

2. Expecting bespoke food choices

To avoid: You believe that people who do not share your taste in food are just not up to your standard of enlightenment, and are therefore less evolved as human beings.

You have a broad range of culinary interests and you describe them in detail to others. You use sophisticated culinary terms and share photos of your latest attempts in the kitchen.  Your discussions about food are high end and you have stories about meals eaten in and outside of the home to prove it.  Gourmet food just isn’t something you enjoy – your love of gourmet food is a mark of your exquisite taste.

3. Considering travel exploits to be a sign of sophistication

To avoidYou tell your friend, in a vague but direct way, that their perspective about any region outside of their municipality has no merit and that they are insular because they rarely travel outside of their region these days. 

You share photos of your latest trips abroad and a list of all the places you’ve visited the previous year (and every year before that).  Your employer foots a good portion of your travel expenses and you pony up for a few of the expenditures yourself.  You muse about where you  should go next.  It’s hard being a world traveler. “So many places to see . So little time”, you complain.  You’ve got Namibia on your mind and want to get the count of my “Countries Visited” increasing by at least five countries every year.

So far so normal. This is what many people do.

Here’s where things start to go sideways. You  have nothing to say about your friend’s vacation by the lake that’s located in the next town over.  The mere thought of such a vacation bores you senseless.   When summer arrives, you complain that you just want to get out of town and head to the airport.

5. Living in an Echo Chamber

To avoid: You live in the centre of a most spectacular Echo Chamber.

Almost all of your friends are similar to you in terms of their age and other socio-demographic  factors.  You all  have similar political viewpoints and lifestyles.  When you share a complaint, your friends all chime in to agree with you.   This could describe a lot of people.  But here’s where you are extra.  You are decisive about cutting off contact with people who share a different perspective (either by avoidance in person or disconnecting from them online).

 

6. Ignoring Constructive Advice

To avoid: You are not open to the idea of changing your look.

You share detailed descriptions of the clothes you’re planning to buy while chatting in the coffee room or writing online.  You scan the clothing and beauty websites and shop regularly.  You treat your potential purchases like mini research projects; however, your look barely changes decade after decade. You still wear heavy blush and makeup.  Your shorts are all manner of long and baggy. Your clothes are wearing you. Nobody dares to give you feedback because these conversations never end well.

7.  Embracing Intolerance

To avoid: You’re quick to show indignation about people who thinking differently than you do.

You can  drop someone from your IRL social circle or “unfriend” someone on social media for the lightest of reasons.  You are often irritated when you read about current events and the state of the world and you’re not shy about making declarations.

“Parents nowadays! Seriously! Get a handle on your kids!”

” [Insert name of politician/political party] + [comments about why they’re wrong and a threat to all that is truly good, while you and like-minded people are right.]

You  forget that some of your friends, relatives and acquaintances support other political parties, beliefs or lifestyle choices, and are the people about whom you are sneering while you post your rants online or share them at a party.

8. Obsessing About the Physical

To avoid:  You are contemptuous of  people who neither own a gym membership nor follow the latest fitness and or diet trends.

You talk constantly about Weight Watcher point counting, your new food plan, trips to the spa, possible plastic surgery options and your latest exploits at the gym.  Daily walks , vigorous sessions in the garden, playing pickle ball in the park and other similar casual undertakings do not count as making an effort.

9.  Expecting uniform tastes

You assume that people who do not follow your literary interests are simply not as high functioning. You read obscure books and journals that are not widely known. Every year, you’re sounding more and more like a character on Frasier.  And not Dr. Crane’s father.  (See re-runs on PlutoTV if you don’t know this 90s show set in the Pacific Northwest.)

9.  Choosing to not show an interest in other people’s lives

To avoid: Other people’s lives don’t interest you and you don’t see why you should make an effort to show any interest. 

Your enthusiasm and participation is conspicuously absent in face-to-face conversations and in online commendations regarding other people’s life events.   You will not ask questions, pay close attention when others give you details about what they have been doing lately or loop back to previous conversations that you’ve had together. This is particularly the case when you interact with people whose lifestyles are different from my own.

10.  Being Oblivious

To avoid: While speaking with others, you talk almost exclusively about yourself.

People might say that you’re self involved. Whether it’s in person or online, you’re all about broadcasting – not listening.  Are the people you’re encountering regularly blissfully happy or struggling? You haven’t a clue and you will miss any clues that your conversation partner might offer.  Your conversation partner should not expect a follow-up question.

Maybe you don’t care about any of these character traits and you don’t care what other think about you.  That’s a bold move. And this is your choice.

You do you.

As for me, I felt the weight of boredom while thinking about these approaches to life and will be avoiding these “don’ts” lest someone call me “persnickety”.

That’s Downton Abbey era speak for being a “snob” .

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